We are terrified of looking stupid.
If someone asks about a topic we barely know, we nod, we bluff, we say "Oh yeah, I read an article about
that."
We fake omniscience.
For 24 hours, I answered every question I wasn't 100% sure about with one phrase:
I Don't Know.
> SCENARIO 1: THE POLITICS TALK
Normal Me: "Oh, it's complicated, unstable markets, you know..." (I know nothing about Brazil).
Experimental Me: "I don't know. I haven't read about it."
Result: Silence. Then... "Oh. Well, let me explain." The friend explained it. He felt smart. I learned something. Bluffing would have preserved my ego but blocked my learning.
> SCENARIO 2: THE WORK EXPERT
Normal Me: "Theoretically yes, if we optimize the kernel..." (Buzzwords).
Experimental Me: "I don't know. Let me check and get back to you."
Result: Boss looked surprised. "Okay, check it." Respect level actually went UP. Admitting ignorance showed confidence. Only insecure people fake it.
> THE EGO DEATH
Saying "IDK" hurts physically at first. It feels like defeat. But after the 5th time, it feels like armor. You don't have to defend a position you don't hold. You don't have to remember your lies. You become bulletproof because you are transparent.
> CONCLUSION
We think people judge us for not knowing. They don't. They judge us for pretending to know and being wrong. "I Don't Know" is the door to "Now I Know." I'm going to use this phrase a lot more. It saves so much energy.