// HYPOTHESIS_LOADED
Furniture is expensive. A West Elm couch is $2,000. IKEA is cheap but falls apart.
But civilization produces waste. Rich people throw away nice things constantly.
The Experiment: Furnish a completely empty living room in 7 days.
Budget: $0.00.
Tools: Facebook Marketplace (Free Section), Craigslist, Curb Alerts, and a borrowed
pickup truck.
> DAY 1: THE COUCH (The Holy Grail)
Finding a free couch is easy. Finding a free couch that doesn't smell like wet dog or contain bedbugs is hard.
The Pickup: It was in a wealthy suburb. The owners were remodeling. "Just get it out of here," they said. It was heavy. I pulled a muscle. But it was real leather.
> DAY 3: THE COFFEE TABLE (The Curb Find)
I was driving home and saw it. Sitting on the curb. A massive, solid oak coffee table.
The Fix: I covered the stain with a stack of books. Problem solved.
> DAY 5: THE COMPETITION
Facebook Marketplace is a war zone.
Someone posted a "Free Dyson Vacuum."
I messaged them 1 minute after posting.
"Pending Pickup," they replied.
You have to be fast. You have to be ruthless. I started refreshing the page every 10 seconds. I felt
like a day trader, but for used lamps.
> DAY 7: THE FINAL ROOM
I stepped back. The room looked... eclectic.
- A leather couch.
- An oak table.
- A vintage rug (cleaned thoroughly).
- A floor lamp from the 90s.
It didn't match. It looked like a Wes Anderson movie set design gone wrong. But it was functional. And it was free.
ESTIMATED VALUE: $1,450.00
> FINAL_VERDICT
We live in a surplus economy. If you have patience, a truck, and a strong back, you never need to buy furniture again.
CONCLUSION: The best furniture store is your neighbor's trash. Swallow your pride and take the table. Just check for bugs. Always check for bugs.